my life just complicated

do u still love me.?

this is the last time i ask him..
no
he answered

actually i already know the answer is no.. but i still ask because i wan hear his lie. his lie will make me feel better. although is just a simple lie but it may save my life.~ i always wish to die. i really cant take it.. he keep appearing into my mind.~ wil he be tired that he always running in my mind.?

yesterday i cried again after i got his answer.. i just cant hold back.~ yea.! i stil love him but slowly i found. i m letting go.. i really have no heart feeling anymore.. i started dont know how to love and what is love.? just know it is something really hurt and need to pay more then what u get..

now i just treat him as friend. yea.~ only friend but i stil care him like his mother.. but i wil try slowly leave his life.. he change alot. yea really. i do not know is it i changed him or his stress.. after he got his "new" phone few days ago from his brother.~ he start to forget his friend.. even evelyn, his buddy.. he told me that he bored only msg her.. is this call friend.? or... is just too busy with his game and his "new" phone.

but this few days.. i got jerr teman. n.n' haha.. and i love his hug.~ he really a truth friend of mine. even he got a lovely girlfriend but he stil wont forget his friend in sad mood.. ( me ) . although he masix and i digi user but he stil msg me and call over and to talk with me when i was down. he just can sit down and listen to me and give me advise.~ thankz jerr . because of u. i get more stronger..

this is jerr.. ^.^

and evelyn.~ i guess she is now at singapore enjoy her day visiting her sister new school. ^.^ i dint get chat with her this few day cause is expensive for far distance chat.~ one bubx from her to me. and 20 cen from me to her. haha is sstil expensive. rmb.? digi use to be free chat :D thats make big different.! but before she leave to singapore. she also teman me alot.! realot.. mean really alot xD although i keep telling her bout ming sung thing.. haha my ex.~ but she dint complain i was annoying her.. i know i m but. somtime i really need someone to listen.. she do.! and she nonstop giving me best advise. every friend want me to stand up.. i wil..

this is leng lui evelyn.~

my 2 best friends evelyn and jerr.! ^.^

about andrian.. mm.. he kinda busy this few days with his guitar :D i dun use to talk with him about my ex. ming sung... and just chat as normal friend. but he stil cheer me up.! while some of his friend might not like him.. but to me. i m alright with him.~ i understand.. i was in his shoes before. he just took the same way i walk. erm.. everyone have thier oppinion.. but he stil my friend xD but then now a day.. i guess he got some love problem also.. he told me and i just talk to him.~ i jwish he could understand ^.^

ohya.~ today 22 spet.! i wil never forget today is my ex boyfriend nicholas birthday.. just on the 12am midnight. i called him and " happy birthday to eu.~ " yay.. i was the first one who wish him birthday.! haha.. luckily i dint miss it. ^.^ tell the truth. my memory was not good. really teruk :D but stil i remember his birthday.! he must be very happy.. i know. he say it was touched.. i just wish my friend around me always happy included ming sung.~ i dint want to pay back.. just a smile is enough for all..

birthday boi :D
cute and leng zai..

but kesian him la.. he got exam on his birthday.~ xD but he promise me wil go out with me after his exam 29 spet.. haha one on one.! LOLx.. just to build more happy memory.. not for more. i wan stay single.~ erm... what present should i give him leh.? err.. no nO.! he stil owe me present :D haha. he said he giving me a kiss for my birthday present .. nah.~ i dun expect it cause we use to joke.. haha. but after 29 spet. i do not know my parents wil let me out a day anot.~ becuase spm is just around the corner. talk bout spm.. i really haven study yet. LOLx.. really scare i cant get up to mark. not only wan pass but an A.

my dad let me choose if i got 10 A for scholaship.. haha.~ my first choice is sunway.. not because of my ex ex ( boOn yau and ming sung ) anymore.. is i was wishing to enter since long time agO.~ why.? cause there is grand. big :D nice.? and expensive school. xD and near.. for truth. it is really expensive.!! my cousin in tar 8ooO bubx per course but there is 20,oo0 haha.~ saw it.? is super expensive so my dad say if i dint get scholaship. dont dream that i wil b in that college.. wil be in tar.~ actually i think tar not bad. ^.^ but kinda toO far. my mother wont wan me to stay there so i must travel long way everyday.. guess how tired is that..

talk bout college.. i really dint know what course to take.~ professional acounting will be one of my choice or i wil b doctor.. doctor is do or die. cause i hate medicine and is hard is only because i taking pure science now.~ my dad just wan me go medicine side.. and atleast need to study for 7 year and work for gouvament.. walao.! take my life man. even everyday have to see people die. torture sia.~ about acountant.. atleast i love numbers :D only 4 years to ACCA but problem is.. i is know abit about acountant. =.=' i stop learning acount after form 3. and my dad seem like dun like i take accountant. he say " aiya.~ accountant everywhere also got la.." but y he dont say " aiya.~ doctor everywhere also got la.. " LOLx.. not same meh.?

by the way.. i also got think about to be a doctor before.. cause i really love the name Dr. so everyone wil start calling me Dr. ^.^ no nO.~ actually i got an ambition d.. but i don think is easy then a doctor.. haha. guess what.? is a biogenetic doctor.~ stil a doctor right.? but is more on genetic on human.. i love anaylse type of gene and alles.. u know when every couple before marry. they advise to go genetic test so to check their "produce" will be health and save. i love to find out for them.. it use brian alot. wil it be very easy to look old.? haha nvm.. i wil take bioyoung :D LOLx..

hey. why not b a singer.? not bad la. i dream before.. my sing was not that bad :D and i still know pianO. after spm got think about to learn sing.~ so can be famous.. well known LOLx.~

i love sumthing to use brian.. like math. add math.~ and i hate memorise things.! really like.. chemistry =.=' all sort of equation and many refuse.! haha.. nand bio.. not what i want. just need to memorise every part of body.. torture sia. my memory super cha.! mean teruk.. told de.~ but now i just try to eat all my book.! really torture but to score. what to do. right.? hate life.. haha. so many thing to learn at once.~ can it comes slowly like step bu step.? LOLx

arh.~ hungry :D i realise that i haven eat since i wake up.! at 12pm.. cause i slept late yesterday night.~ do what.? mm.. after X-man movie. i help my sis cut hair.. front friedge.~ i use to cut mine also.. wei.! nice la. wait.. i show u

before her hair cut.. was long..

nice leh.? after her hair cut.. leng lui liaO.~
must thankz to a profesional person :D
even my dad also say niCe.!

me.!


LOLx.

while.. since talk about yesterday night.. erm.~ me and my family when to eat at island red cafe.. not an island is counted as restaurant.~

lol.. the lamp of the restaurant.. niCe wert :D
and some picture of me and my sis



next


nah.~ this is my pic.
emm
i order coffee ice bleeded
and lampchop :D

so what nOw.?

holiday.~ fever. argg.. why holiday sure sick.? but i guess now is getting better xD ying.. be strong. dun get sick again.!!

erm.. so after spm.!

yay.. go hong kong. china and disneyland.~ wOw.. nice and luck that i dint kena ns. so i m free to work and go take my driving lesson. ^.^ and college wil think later intake after spm result is out.~ bout valentine day wil be just chinese new year. haha xD so ngam.. i m single :D so is alright if i back penang for chinese new year.. but i heard my grandparents wil be coming during chinese new year so i guess we wil just back penang for nice food just a few day and visit some other relative..

my dad was joking " hey chinese new year is valentine day.~ so u all remember bring your boyfriend come house visit us and have meal :D " and " hey ying. when got new one ar.? remember bring home.! " haha what a daddy joke. he kinda open minded but not over for him is ok.~ my family.. haha included my dad and mum know i break up last week cause i change alot. they know i dint eat.. sick and keep stay in roOm. LOLx.. obvious right.? but they stil make joke and cheer me up.! i really love them.. but just only one thing to make them perfect if they stop nag.!! haha. xD

hapi holiday.~
selamat hari raya

and Once again..

happy birthday to nicholas.!

ciao.~ :D smile everyone.