don't know why..
i sudden feel blogging
may be this is the only way i write out all my feeling.~
not i don't want to tel friend
if i tel them
they will start saying me
you this SILLY girl.!
is already 2 week i been single.~ even though is two week but i still can't take it. now i know how deep i love him. is it really stupid.? i been through so many love road before. uncountable experience and so i though that i can handle any kind of problem in relationship and promise myself won't fall in love so deep and serious.~ but for him. i cant.! every time when someone broke with their lover. i will be the first one who comfort them. ask them to find a new one and forget about pass. aiya.! whole world got so many guys.~ and they cry and tell me " i can't Jenn " now i am in their shoes. i really can feel that and now i know why people so stupid will die because of love.
die.? yea.. i think to die because i lose him. really.~ i try get pill and all that. i cant sleep eat and cant STUDY.! i know SPM is just around the corner but i just don't have the mood open the book and really study. by the way i have kinda good result for trial and say the truth. i really study for it because i was study because of him. everything is because of him.~ yea. he is truth. i m just to clingy on him. really a lot.! now still got about 5 week to exam but i still HAVEN'T start yet. imagine how i am going score straight A for it. but anyhow. i am glad that my mood now is better now.
i had stop crying for him and start have appetite to eat and so on.~ but my heart beat always accelerate until same speed as racing F1 car. is when the time i miss him a a lot. i know i still have the heart of loving him. i just holding it and don't want it fade away.~ i want go back to the time i with him. is it possible.? every time even though i am so busy but i still glance at my phone every second and waiting for his message. i just keep hoping to get his message.~ really. i feel talking to him and chatting with him. cause i miss his laugh. his voice his everything.
tuition now still left about 2 week means i still can see for only 8 days. after the 8 days. i am not going to meet him.~ i know times will come and i trying to take it. i feel i start to stare at him all the time when he sit beside when tuition.~ i want the time stop so he will forever in my eye. i miss him.~ especially his smile. i love it a lot.! i know i told many time but i really love him. i wish i could take a picture with him for memory. cause after the 8 days. i think i might not meet him ever again. i want leave his life. i don't want to bring him trouble. he don't love me anymore. that's is a very clear answer.! i know but to accept it is not easy..
me. as his friend so he care me only as his friend.. thanks and i appreciate it but i feel reject accept his care. he make me love him.! really hate him.. but.. i want his care very much actually. it mean a lot to me. i can get happy whole day if he just care me once. i can have a very sweet dream if i get talk to him at night after listen to his voice. he just like a drugs to me.~ i feel wanting more but is end. i am trying to say no to " drugs " .. actually i need it.. but to force myself. i cant accept it.! although is a little for my comfort but i have to push him away and rude to him. actually i don't mean it. i cried in my heart..
i m really trying my best to let go. i feel that he love me or not is really not important to me anymore. i know the answer dy and i know it won't change. may be i just can lie myself that he had a secret reason behind that.. i only believe that.~ but please don't find one day tell me that u have no reason behind. i will get really hurt. he can don't lie but he also can don't tell. when the first time i know him. i already know he are really different and special to me.. i though i can have his heart but end up with tears. i know i just giving a lot of trouble to him.. sorry.~
i promise i will really let him go fully when time pass. if he really find me back as he say if future can be together and you will go for it but is too late. i won't love him the second time and hurt twice. i can't take it and i can't trust him anymore. i don't want to be in love.. sometimes i will think. do he serious in love before.? first time i so serious but.. ending was not the fairy tail story that nice.~ i wish times go faster.. i know i just wake up from a sweet dream with him..
so know wake dy. i will study for my best and choose my way to go. i don't do anything base on you anymore.! i won't take ACCA anymore.. but still wish him can score for it.! thanks ming sung. u give me a lot of things. happiness knowledge experience and lot more. i love your smile really.! my heart do not beat for you anymore. is for myself.! u teach me how to be more devil and build the wall higher. i will find another devil replace you.. a silver eyes vampire. ^.^ remember you told me before.? a lot of thing come to my mind. almost all is your image.. but i will delete all of it and only left your name.~
next time people say.. " ming sung " then i will think.. emm this sound familiar. who is this.? i really don't want to remember you anymore.! you nearly kill me. a silent love murderer.. i know. the game is just start.~ i take your challenge.! i really hate love and guys. =.=' sigh
die.? yea.. i think to die because i lose him. really.~ i try get pill and all that. i cant sleep eat and cant STUDY.! i know SPM is just around the corner but i just don't have the mood open the book and really study. by the way i have kinda good result for trial and say the truth. i really study for it because i was study because of him. everything is because of him.~ yea. he is truth. i m just to clingy on him. really a lot.! now still got about 5 week to exam but i still HAVEN'T start yet. imagine how i am going score straight A for it. but anyhow. i am glad that my mood now is better now.
i had stop crying for him and start have appetite to eat and so on.~ but my heart beat always accelerate until same speed as racing F1 car. is when the time i miss him a a lot. i know i still have the heart of loving him. i just holding it and don't want it fade away.~ i want go back to the time i with him. is it possible.? every time even though i am so busy but i still glance at my phone every second and waiting for his message. i just keep hoping to get his message.~ really. i feel talking to him and chatting with him. cause i miss his laugh. his voice his everything.
tuition now still left about 2 week means i still can see for only 8 days. after the 8 days. i am not going to meet him.~ i know times will come and i trying to take it. i feel i start to stare at him all the time when he sit beside when tuition.~ i want the time stop so he will forever in my eye. i miss him.~ especially his smile. i love it a lot.! i know i told many time but i really love him. i wish i could take a picture with him for memory. cause after the 8 days. i think i might not meet him ever again. i want leave his life. i don't want to bring him trouble. he don't love me anymore. that's is a very clear answer.! i know but to accept it is not easy..
me. as his friend so he care me only as his friend.. thanks and i appreciate it but i feel reject accept his care. he make me love him.! really hate him.. but.. i want his care very much actually. it mean a lot to me. i can get happy whole day if he just care me once. i can have a very sweet dream if i get talk to him at night after listen to his voice. he just like a drugs to me.~ i feel wanting more but is end. i am trying to say no to " drugs " .. actually i need it.. but to force myself. i cant accept it.! although is a little for my comfort but i have to push him away and rude to him. actually i don't mean it. i cried in my heart..
i m really trying my best to let go. i feel that he love me or not is really not important to me anymore. i know the answer dy and i know it won't change. may be i just can lie myself that he had a secret reason behind that.. i only believe that.~ but please don't find one day tell me that u have no reason behind. i will get really hurt. he can don't lie but he also can don't tell. when the first time i know him. i already know he are really different and special to me.. i though i can have his heart but end up with tears. i know i just giving a lot of trouble to him.. sorry.~
i promise i will really let him go fully when time pass. if he really find me back as he say if future can be together and you will go for it but is too late. i won't love him the second time and hurt twice. i can't take it and i can't trust him anymore. i don't want to be in love.. sometimes i will think. do he serious in love before.? first time i so serious but.. ending was not the fairy tail story that nice.~ i wish times go faster.. i know i just wake up from a sweet dream with him..
so know wake dy. i will study for my best and choose my way to go. i don't do anything base on you anymore.! i won't take ACCA anymore.. but still wish him can score for it.! thanks ming sung. u give me a lot of things. happiness knowledge experience and lot more. i love your smile really.! my heart do not beat for you anymore. is for myself.! u teach me how to be more devil and build the wall higher. i will find another devil replace you.. a silver eyes vampire. ^.^ remember you told me before.? a lot of thing come to my mind. almost all is your image.. but i will delete all of it and only left your name.~
next time people say.. " ming sung " then i will think.. emm this sound familiar. who is this.? i really don't want to remember you anymore.! you nearly kill me. a silent love murderer.. i know. the game is just start.~ i take your challenge.! i really hate love and guys. =.=' sigh
No comments:
Post a Comment