♥ ... realise ... ♥

i realise that
i start wanting to chat with him more..

i realise that
i had tell him too much of my secret
and i trust him that he will keep it safe.~

i realise that
i m missing him.? did i.?
smile... C=

i realise that
something is really going not right

after jake.ms go..
comes a ~LaGuardia..
and after everything end
appear the " sleeping beauty "
LOLx.. :D

what is happening...
i hold my heart and ask myself
" heart is with me but why i cant feel it.? "

something is really not right..

and..

i realise that i don't use to be in a single life
may be i just want have someone for me to clingy on.. ( boyfriend )
so i feel wanting a bf..
but at the same time.. i scare hurt.~
.. there is no words to describe the feeling of pain T.T'


midnight 12 am something today...
i call him again.~ " konichiwa " C=
actually i just cant sleep
reason simple.. jake.ms just pop out of my mind.~


then he asked me.. do i stil love jake.ms .?
i wanted to say yes but my tongue hold my words back

cause i realise..
the one that i loved is the pass memory of him.~
things changes.~

he had walk miles away from me..
now even he stand infront of me
he is not the one i meet before
i realise that i don't recognise him any dy
he is also not the one i love anymore... complicated. right.?


i realise i just being in the dreamland missing the momory we build last time

i think is time for me to wake up now.~
i should leave the momory and build a new one.. start a new love
missing the pass have no future..
is just like meaningless

sometimes things should let go
and what had done is done...
there have no perfect U-turn for every story
and not everything can back to zero ( the point we start.. )

smile is the best medicine C=
i promise i will walk out of the darkness..
and i not going miss him.. right.?




waiting " sleeping beauty " dy message.. C=



sign off...